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So much has been written about lying.

Black lies, grey lies, white lies, manipulators, pathological liars and compulsive liars…

pathalogical liars

Many people state that everyone lies. They stress that lying to a certain extent is needed as the truth would be too brutal. Then there are those who start a whole essay about “truth” when we use that word….and all appears so complicated.

But, some things are simple. I know, I know I always state that everything is more complex when we look deeper into the issue…and yes, this is true for lying as well, but in the end…it is not that complex, as many rebuttals are useless and often provided to justify lying and believe me I have heard them all.

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Lying when protecting someone, for instance. We observe that in the heroes in the movies we like to watch…those who protect the innocents while being tortured by the baddies…

Most people who lie, however, are no heroes. They do so because they gain from the lies. They gain attention, money, sympathy, admiration, respect. They lie on their resumes, about their education level, the years of experience they have and “the number of projects they have brought to a successful completion”. They lie about past relationships, about running marathons, the adventures they were part of, mischief they engaged in, the results on their IQ test, or they brag that they “have flown more than many a pilot”.

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They lie about…well…everything…for reasons that boil down to making themselves look better than they are. They lie to hide unethical, bad, corrupt behaviour, but alas it all comes out…sooner or later.

They know however, that as soon as the lies come to light, they will lose the superficial respect and attention they gained. So, once they start lying, they must keep it up. Living a life with lies means to have different scenarios prepared in their head for different people and different places. Lies cover other lies, and so on. Life becomes complicated once they start lying.

The only way out is to come clean to themselves and to all the people they have harmed with their lies. What liars do however, is not coming clean, but to declare themselves sick, burnt-out, addicted, suffering from past abuse…and, of course, they are victims of bad people.

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We have many of these “victims” in our society, those who were on top of the world before they were caught with their pants down. Poor them. I just hope you are not going to feel sorry for them as that means that they win again.

Liars: Come clean, don’t make excuses…

Do the work!

Stop lying and that will be hard for you. Seek help!

Think about all the lies over the years and all the people who have been manipulated and deceived by the lies.

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Time’s up! Stop being a coward…no more excuses, justifications, no more hiding behind others or behind the label of a fancy sounding illness.



7 thoughts on “POST 91: LYING, LIARS, LIES…

  1. I’ve always used the word “spinning,” which I guess probably has its roots in political contexts rather than relationships. As I look back at the breakdown of my previous marriage, it was this constant spinning that bothers me to this day. It’s the partial truths and the half lies that got to me. But I guess it all adds up to the same thing you’re really getting at here– anything less than the full truth is, well, a lie. Thanks, Elizabeth. – Marty

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Elizabeth, yes… Yes… and YES! I think these shades of truth (and really shades of lies) are what made my first marriage eventually go off the rails. And perhaps just as tragically, the same dynamic happens even more after a relationship ends. Narratives devoid of the truth are hardened so that “spins” are turned into a version recognizable to only one person.

        Thanks so much for sharing this. 🙂 – Marty

        Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s like some version of the truth is told no matter what and they believe that nobody will question their lies. But we do! We surely do. My ex and his family, especially his mom, are experts at lying and spinning the truth to suit them. I am plain ole me and I don’t lie so I don’t even try to beat them at their own game because they’re masters and I’m not. I just sit back and listen to their yarns of lies because I’m so baffled by their ease in lying. My kids are realizing it now as well so it’s a bonding thing when they catch a lie from their dad’s family. It’s sad because I was so blinded for years. It’s like when they tell you there’s no Santa. I just believed that people told the truth. That they really loved you because they said it. I’m ok now, but there was a time where I felt like a little kid who just couldn’t grasp that Santa was a fake. Now I know that there are versions of the truth with my ex and his family and I’ve taken them off my radar because I don’t care to be around them anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lies of omission where you’re blithely living life in the belief that everything is transparent only to discover that in order ‘to protect you’ from what’s perceived to be situations that might be upsetting- usually by the liar who doesn’t want to face consequences – information is withheld. That really infuriates me. As my Counsellor said – if information is being withheld it’s usually because something is going on that the other spouse would disapprove of so DON’T DO IT! Also lying to oneself ie saying and doing what one thinks other people want rather than being honest. Impossible to have a relationship on those terms. A complete disconnect an absence of reality and mismatch of communication.

    Liked by 1 person

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